Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Is Love Really Blind

The cliche, love is blind, you must heard it like thousand times. In early stages of relationship, our partner would seem so perfect and flawless. And it is true that we tend to gloss over our partner's faults. Then comes the time when parents drag our feet on the ground, and tell us that love will pass by after you stay together for a long period of time (like they all do in their at least 30 years of marriage). Some of my relatives even use coke (as in drink) as a metaphor to love. When it is new, it is full of bubbles (to describe hot and passion), however over time, the bubbles will fade away.

And so, we would all come to the understanding that living with your partner would expose their flaws, and thus open our eyes to see clearly who he/she really is as a person. The love will fade as we see more and more flaws and bad habits of our partner.

What I found interesting is that, researchers studying married couples have found that in the happiest marriage, the overrating habit continues. And in fact, it is the glue that keeps the couples together happily ever after!

Indeed, the happy married couples usually are those who tend not to notice their partner's faults, and tend only to remember good times they have been through together. This way of thinking keep them happy, and also good their health. Couples who see things this way tend to have less chronic disease. This is due to how they resolve their conflicts. When it comes to conflict, these couples would sit down and talk about the issue in a calm and rational way. They listen to each other's opinion and/or complaints. And this way, they are less exposed to stress hormones, which are associated with illnesses such as heart disease.

And interestingly, this overrating habit only need to exist in one partner, for the effects to be seen. Knowing this, you do not have to worry nomore when friends or parents telling you that love will fade as time passes. The formula for happy marriage is quite simple. If you are an easy going person, there is higher chance for you to live healthy and happily ever after in your marriage. And if you are more to a serious person who tends to be pessimistic at times, you should find an easy going partner. As easy as that!

5 comments:

Portia said...

I believe what you said in this interesting post.100% correct. Thinking of happy moments are what makes life memorable and being optimistic will make us happy persons. And is love really blind?hehehe.Nope, it is not blind.Only the lovers could not see!

Sienna said...

Yeah I couldnt agree more. Being happy and optimistic can do us lots of good in our lives. C'est la vie! (^-^)

Anonymous said...

well, somebody once told me, love is not blind, but sometimes, people can be stupid...hehe take care dear! :)

i like your blog about lessons... i have a similar blog, http://www.flowersbythewayside.blogspot.com ... it is where I put my learnings, too. :)

God bless you! :)

Sienna said...

Hey posh! looks like almost everyone of us has been taught or at least been told about love yeah? interesting (^-^)

love your blog too. am not a Christian. but i love reading your blog. meaningful!

Anonymous said...

I’ve learned that real love is loving someone because of their flaws, not despite them. I think the best relationships are built on a strong foundation of friendship and respect. Passion is necessary, but can fade in time and with what will you be left? 
Dr. KC
http://DOCintheBiz.com